For a girl growing up without a father, it can cause many issues. Not just in your relationships with humans but also with God. How can you fathom the unconditional love that God has for you when the one man earthly man who created you abandoned you? How can you believe the scriptures in the Bible that tell you that God will never leave you when the one earthly man who created you abandoned you? How can you believe that God will supply your every needs when the one earthly man who created you abandoned you?
Proverbs 3:5 says “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.” Although it may seem may be hard at times, you must understand this truth, God is like no man that you will ever meet. Although there are many who strive to be Christ-like they do not have the mind or heart of God. So do not think that because earthly men treat you in a certain way that God will do the same. If you lean on your own understanding, when you think of God and see Him as a father, you will not be able to believe that he will provide for you. You will not be able to believe that God will never leave you when the going gets tough. But do not be limited by your own understanding, expand your understanding by prayer and by looking at the word of God. Psalm 27:10 says “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.” I would like to place an emphasis on the words “the Lord will hold me close,” this makes me think of God hugging us. When God hugs us and puts his arms around us, he becomes our comforter and our shield, no-one can separate us, within this hug we are bonded. The difference between this hug that I am imagining however, is that it goes on for eternity. Eternity? Yes, eternity!
What I am saying is that no matter where we are, or what we do or how much we want to just be left alone, God is holding onto us. He is looking after us every moment of everyday. God is so much more than we can imagine. So even if you feel as though you are alone because your earthly father left you, remember that God will give you so much more than he ever could have. He will surround you forever and take care of you, He will hold you close because you are His. You are His daughter too! You are a daughter of God, being a daughter of the most high King makes you a princess doesn’t it? The daughter of a king is a princess! Therefore, whenever you feel worthless or rejected, remember who you are. You are extremely precious, not just to the world but to God. As a princess, walk with your head held high, understanding your true worth. Just because you do not know your dad, or your dad is not around it does not mean that you are fatherless.
Psalm 3:3 says “But you, O Lord, are a shield around me; you are my glory, the one who holds my head high.” Do you believe this? The purpose of a shield is to protect the person behind it from their enemies and from getting hurt. Do you believe that God can protect you from getting hurt? Do you believe that God can hold back your enemies? Enemies come in all shapes and forms, I am not just talking about that person who hates you or is trying to start a fight, I am also talking about the enemy within. Negativity can be your enemy, when you believe that you can’t even before you try, you are being an enemy to yourself. At times we can be our biggest enemy of progress. I am saying this because at times our experiences can shape what we see as possible for our future. Just because your father left your mother it does not necessarily mean that the same thing will happen to you. That is fear! As Christian’s we should rebuke fear! How can we believe that God is our shield and protector and still have fear? Do you not realise that Philippians 4:6 tells us not to worry about anything but to pray and petition about it. A petition in this instance is to make an appeal to God. Pray that God will remove this fear from your heart so that you will be able to trust in him. Appeal to God for wisdom when it comes to finding a husband so that the man who finds you will never leave you. Pray that God will open up your heart to love and that you will realise that your mother’s portion is not your portion.
Many biblical scriptures try to explain to us what God is like by using our earthly fathers as examples. But to my sisters without a dad, this is a bit tricky. Take Hebrew 12:7 for example it says “As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father?” Ok, so that last question is where the problem starts. Or does it? To my sisters without a dad, look to your mum. In many fatherless homes, the mother takes on both roles. Hebrew 12:10 says “For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how.” The best they knew how? So they are not perfect examples of a father anyway? So if our earthly fathers are only doing the best that they know how, why is it hard to believe that the single mother cannot raise you how your father should? She can and she can do this by doing the best way that she knows how.
If your dad was to walk into whatever room you are sitting in right now, how would you react? Would you shout at him and tell him what you think of him? Would you quote 1 Timothy 5:8 to him trying to make him feel bad? Would you become so overwhelmed that you would cry? Would you hit him? The real question that I have for you is, would you forgive him? I am not talking about the type of forgiveness where you just go on as if nothing happened. You deserve the right to tell him how you felt about being abandoned. You deserve the right to express yourself and let him know how he has effected you. But are you willing to allow him into your life and to not constantly remind him about what he has done? Are you willing to forgive your father even if that moment never comes when he walks back into your life apologising for the years that he missed out on. Because it was him who missed out, he did not get to see you grow up and become the God-fearing sister that you are today. Forgiving someone who does not want to know you is extremely hard. Forgiving someone who you feel does not love you is even harder. But God wants you to forgive your earthly father (read Mark 11:25 if you don’t believe me, actually read it either way). God wants you to pray positive things over your earthly fathers live. When you are able to forgive your father for abandoning you, you will be able to let go of all the pain and heartache that you feel that this situation has left you in.
To my sister without a dad, this is my prayer for you. I pray that you will be able to understand that God loves you so much, He wants to heal your heart. God wants you to know that you are His daughter and that everyday as He watches you grow up, He looks at you as a proud father looks at His child, He will never stop loving you. I pray that you will not fear and that you will be open to love. I pray over your family, the family that you are in now and the family that you will have in the future. I pray over your marriage, even though you may still be waiting for your Boaz, I pray that no weapon shall prosper against your marriage. I pray that you will raise God-fearing children who will understand that although they may not know their grandfather, that that will not be the case for their grandchildren. I rebuke any negative thought that you have surrounding your future. I pray that you will realise your value and your true worth and that you will not settle for anything less than you deserve. People may come to you saying that not even your own father wanted you, but I pray that you will know that that is a lie. God loves you. He is your father. He wants you so much and loves you so much that he sacrificed his son on the cross so that you will have eternal life. I pray that you will be able to forgive your father. You may feel as though he robbed you from the chance of having a real childhood but I tell you that is a lie. Your life has gone according to God’s plan. God will never give you anything that you cannot handle and you have survived it. I pray that you will be able to understand that this has happened for a purpose and that although at times it has been hard, God was always close by because he is your shield. I pray that your relationship with your mother will strengthen because she has done so much for you. She has done her best to provide for you, the best way that she knows how. I pray that you will be able to see just how precious you are. You are the daughter of the most high King. You deserve the head and not the tail. You deserve the very best in life. The enemy has no hold over your life and I pray that you will always remember that no matter what your going through, how bad or unworthy you think that you are, God will NEVER forsake you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.