People often say that committing suicide is one of the most selfish things that you can do. But I believe that it takes a strong weak person to actually commit suicide. A strong weak person? Yes! Strong in the sense that it must take a lot of physical and mental strength to actually commit suicide, but weak in the sense that it takes a spiritually weak person to commit suicide. I do not mean that only the unsaved commit suicide, believers do it too. However, I believe that since people commit suicide because they believe that there is nothing left to life for, they must have reached a point in their life where they are spiritually low. So this letter is not to condemn you sister, it is to encourage you to keep on living.
I do not know the reason that you want to commit suicide however I do know that there is no problem too big that God cannot handle. You are not alone. I remember when I got saved, I assumed that since I had given my life to Christ that He would ensure that everything happened the way that I wanted and that from then on my life would be perfect. But that is a common misconception. God never promised us an easy life, but through Jesus Christ He has enabled us to remove our burdens. Saved or unsaved, we will all go through hardships however the beauty of salvation is the fact that we know that we do not have to suffer alone. Christ came to be a mediator on our behalf. Christ came to die for our sins so that we won’t have to. There is nothing that we have done or can do that Christ has not already paid the price for. So remember that you are not alone.
Think of God as an author, He has an amazing plan for everyone of us. Jeremiah 1:5 reminds us just how much God cares about us. He told us that before we were even born He knew us. What? How can someone know you before you were even born? What is there to know about someone who isn’t even born? Before you were even a foetus, before you were even conceived, before your mother was even born He knew you. God knew that you would be feeling the way that you are right now. Right now you have two choices, you can either allow God’s plan for you to unfold or you can decide to become the author of your own life. I would advise against the latter.
I want you to understand that there is no such thing as a perfect christian. Everyone goes through their individual battles, many fight sin daily. Matthew 7:14 says “But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it.” I want to make an emphasis on the section that says “the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult.” This scripture is not talking about literal life, He is talking about the eternal life, the life that is beyond this world which Jesus has enabled us to access. But what I really love about this scripture is that it is not sugar coated. We can never say, “oh I did not realise that this walk would be so hard,” we are told in advance that the road is difficult! We will go over speed bumps, we will have to make sharp turns at times, we will have to give way to others and at times we might even have to walk down this road alone or walk ahead or behind people that we know, but once we get through that gateway, every hardship that we faced will all be worth it.
I am a strong believer that God uses our tests to grow us. It might seem cruel or it might not make sense to us at the time but one thing that God continuously reminds me is that I must wait. God uses many things to grow us. It is through my suffering that I learnt to become truly dependent on God and it was during some of the happiest times in my life that I learnt how to praise God without asking for anything but to just praise Him where I was.
Although you may feel as though you have been in this situation for two minutes too long God promises you that He will restore everything that you have lost and make it all better. God loves you too much to allow you to endure this suffering for a lifetime. You are probably sick and tired of people telling you that your breakthrough is around the corner, you have probably turned around so many corners and still not experienced your breakthrough. However, in due time things will all turn around. It is extremely important to obey God’s timing. Although you might be ready to receive your blessing, it is no good receiving if it is not in accordance with God’s plan for your life.
To my sister who is contemplating suicide I want to encourage you to seek God right now. Pray without ceasing, only God can bring you out of this situation. You need to trust in Him. God loves you way too much to allow you to keep on feeling this way. He wants you to lean on Him and truly trust and believe in Him. He wants you to strengthen your faith in Him. Remember that you are loved, forgiven and that you have a purpose. You may not be able to understand everything that is happening to you right now, but the most important thing for you to do right now is to trust in God and believe that He will deliver you. The Lord’s prayer says ‘deliver us from evil,’ it is now time for you to believe that God has already answered your prayers.
King David is one of my favourite biblical characters, whilst Saul was looking for him trying to murder Him, he wrote many of the chapters of the book of Psalms. He was praying to God asking Him to save him, He had such great faith, he did not quit. When everyone was turning against him, King David just kept seeking God. God spoke about King David and referred to him as a man after His own heart. What a description. Despite people trying to kill him, King David stilled turned to God because he truly believed that God was his refuge.
To my sister who is contemplating suicide, this is my prayer for you. I pray that you will truly believe that you were wonderfully and fearfully made. I pray that you will lean on God more than ever at this difficult time and become totally dependent on Him. I pray that you will understand that through Christ you already have the victory. We serve a God who reigns eternally. He has already answered our prayers. We serve a loving God who never wants to do any harm to you, He wants to give you all of your hearts desires, He wants to bless you. To my sister who is contemplating suicide, I pray for the people in your life. I pray that they will be able to support you during this time and to be able to counsel you. Ecclesiastes 4:12 reminds us that “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” I pray that you will realise just how important it is to surround yourself with positive people because believe it or not, people have a very strong influence on our lives. I pray that above all else you will draw nearer to God, He wants a relationship with you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.