There is a lot of material available to single Christians. There are even ministries and groups devoted specifically to this issue. So in this letter I will try and be concise. The main thing that I want to say to you my sister is that it is important for you to understand the difference between waiting and looking. When you are waiting, you are not searching, you are being passive, you are going about your everyday life and building yourself. But when you are looking, you are busy, you are searching and you are focused solely on finding one thing. To my sister who is waiting on her Boaz my prayer for you is that you will wait for him and not look for him.
I believe that King Solomon said it all, he really helped me write this letter because the two scriptures that have influenced me whilst writing this letter were written by him. Proverbs 18:22 says “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favour from the LORD.” The word ‘finds’ is used twice in this scripture. However it is not directed to the woman, it is directed to the man. It is the man who should find you not the other way around. That is why I want to encourage you to wait, because whilst you are waiting you will be able to draw closer to God and allow Him to make you ready for when that man finds you because then you will be allowing God to craft you into that treasure. If you were busy looking for this man, then you will not be giving him the opportunity to find you.
Have you ever heard of the saying “easy come, easy go?” Well that is what comes to mind when I think about the importance of waiting. I am not saying that you should play hard to get or anything but I am saying that as humans we tend to appreciate things a lot more when it requires a certain level of effort or a certain amount of time to get. If you woke up one morning with a diamond ring on your dressing table, you would be amazed and thankful. However, if it took you a year to save up for this ring, you would treasure it. You would protect this ring so much more than if it had just appeared because you feel as though you are entitled to it due to your labour. By waiting, you will become like the treasure that God intends for you to be.
In the chapter Song of Songs, the female character repeatedly says “Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right.” Do not awaken love? What does that mean? Is love asleep? Love is an emotion! Since it is an emotion, it is possible to love a person who God did not intend for us to be with. I am not talking about the type of love that we are commanded to have for one another, I am talking about the love that is intended to be shared between a husband and a wife. Awakening love before the time is right is extremely dangerous. It could lead to soul-ties and it could also damage your future relationship. We often love to compare things be it; food, music, clothes and especially people. If you awaken love before the time is right, you could end up constantly comparing your ‘first love’ to your husband. Although at times your husband might win the comparison game, what about when he doesn’t? From that scripture you can infer that there IS a right time for love. But how will you be able to know if you are too busy looking for it? If you are waiting, it will be a lot easier for you to recognise when that time is. Ask yourself this question, is it easier to see an object whilst you are standing still or whilst you are moving? I am not saying that you will immediately recognise when the time is, it is important for you to pray for discernment, but it will be a lot easier and especially safer if you are waiting and not looking.
I must say however, that I believe that there is too much emphasis placed on meeting a Boaz. I admired Ruth just as much (actually a bit more) before she met Boaz than after she had married him. Ruth was a widow who decided to stay with her mother-in-law instead of returning to her family where there was an absolute certainty that she would be taken care of. She decided to stay with her mother-in-law who was a self-proclaimed bitter woman. Ruth did something that I do not think that many people would do, she was completely selfless. It is from Ruth’s lineage that Jesus Christ came from (by way of Joseph). I believe that when Boaz found Ruth he truly found a treasure and that the favour from the Lord came through the birth of Christ. However, it is also true that it is not in everyones portion to become a wife so if this is the plan that God has for you, I pray that you will be able to be content and still love God because no husband will love you as much as God does anyway.
To my sister who is waiting on her Boaz, I pray that you will be patient. I pray that you will trust in God to provide your hearts desires. I pray that you will give God your heart and trust that He will give it to the right person and stop trying to find that person yourself. I pray that you will remember the difference between looking and waiting and that you will save yourself. I pray that you will not try and live up to the world’s expectations but that you will try and live a life that will be pleasing to God. I pray that your future relationship will be your first and most important ministry. I pray that you will allow God to polish you because you are His treasure. I pray over your future family, I pray that you and your husband will raise God-fearing children. In Jesus’ name, Amen.