I was going to write this post a while ago but God knows why I didn’t, I wouldn’t have included half of the things that I am going to now because at the time it wasn’t so clear.
Let’s just say that this year, I learnt A LOT! I learnt a lot both spiritually and education wise.
One of the first obstacles that I faced spiritually was time management. I had tons of reading. I had to read about 20 pages a week per module and I did four modules (by the way I study International Relations so the four modules that I took were Introduction to International Relations, Introduction to Politics, Political Analysis and Background to British Politics, just incase you were wondering lol). It was even harder when I had to write essays because that meant that I also had to find extra books, go through them and then cite them. I will be honest with you, I didn’t do all of my readings and I definitely didn’t get onto the further reading list. But trust me, I did a lot of reading! I am the type of person who needs to enjoy something to actually do it so I did a lot more reading for my IR module than my Politics module during the term so that just meant that during the revision period I just had to do more Politics reading. The reason why I considered this to be a spiritual battle was because I realised how easy it was to neglect my relationship with God.
You might remember reading one of my old posts where I wrote about God telling me to make Him my number one priority. I was spending a lot of time trying to catch up with my university work and putting a lot of effort into it but was half hearted when it came to reading the Word and talking to Him. Halfway through my first year God told me to read His word as much as I was reading the recommended texts. It was so easy to get caught up in what the world demanded of me and turn away from God. When He told me that I really saw a change in my attitude towards Him. I then replicated the discipline that I showed in my studies towards my relationship with Him. I realised how selfish I was being by expecting Him to help me to pass my first year but not even spending any time with Him. He knew the questions that were going to be in the exam before the professors even wrote them. He would be able to guide me throughout my revision. One thing that annoys me is studying something rigorously that doesn’t even come up in the exam. Let’s just say that we serve a faithful God because I did not have that problem this year.
Whilst I was waiting for my exam results, I was a bit nervous about whether or not I had gotten the grades to progress onto the next year. Although I already knew that I had passed one module, I didn’t want to get too confident incase I became prideful because I knew that pride comes before the fall. That was when the next spiritual battle began. God was reminding me about what He had told me before to tell other people. He told me that a failed exam or a failed academic year is not a failure in His eyes. I believed it, but my desire was to pass! Although I knew that it was only the world’s view of success that I was trying to achieve, I must admit, I wanted it bad. But then God reminded me that I must have faith that my work would be rewarded and it was.
It is only in retrospect that I am able to understand why I am at the university that I am and why I am studying the course that I am. God reveals His plans for you over time, sometimes it takes getting to the place that He intended for you to be at to understand why. When I was younger, I had typical aspirations, at first I wanted to be a doctor and then I wanted to be a lawyer. After having work experience at a magic circle firm (my then ‘dream’ job) I realised that it wasn’t for me. The only reason that I wanted to go into law was because of the money. It looked so glamourous. But when I witnessed what has to be done in reality it just seemed very monotonous. You would have to love the job to actually do it and for me, money was not a big enough incentive. With retrospect I can look back and laugh because I know that God already knew that it wasn’t for me. Since He knew that, He already planned my next step. When I was picking my A-Level options, I was going to pick Economics but instead I picked Politics after finding out that my school offered it. If it was not for me picking Politics, I would never have learnt about International Relations and I would not be studying it now. If I had never studied IR I would have never been led to the career that I want to pursue.
God is constantly reminding me that I am not of this world but with regards to work, I must always remember that although I am not of this world, I will need to operate in this world. My favourite topic in IR is International Development. Although I have mainly studied the theoretical side, I know that I want to work on the practical side. When I finish university I want to work for development charities, particularly international ones because I believe that I would be able to make the biggest impact there. My goal is to start my own charity when I am older called the Esther Charity that would help young girls across the world understand their worth in Christ. It is extremely important to me that wherever I work does not conflict with my faith and that I am able to achieve my God-given purpose whilst doing that job. Biblical womanhood is the main thing that God wants me to encourage people to achieve and that is the form of International Development that I want to start.