If I never get that house, that car, or be a superstar, if everything I have someday I lose, will I be satisfied with you?
~ Satisfied – The Walls Group
A couple hours ago, the answer to that question would be NO! Yeah I want to have a relationship with Christ, yeah I want to please Him, but I don’t want to feel like I’m doing it all in vain. I know that I should praise Him in spite of my circumstances. I know that I should pray to Him to strengthen my relationship with Him. But, I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t expect anything in return.
I’m probably one of the first people to cringe when I hear prosperity preaching. “If you give your last five pounds in faith, God will multiply it!” Oh really? Are you sure that God doesn’t want me to keep my last pound and be grateful? Anyway, that’s a whole different blog post. The point that I was trying to make was that I pray in the same sense. I pray with the attitude that if I talk to Him now and do everything that I am expected to do as a Christian, then He will reward me in the long run. The truth is, I can not buy anything from God. I can’t buy it with words or money. God will allow it to happen in His perfect timing. My prayers won’t change His timing.
I pray that I would be able to be satisfied if His will for me is not in line with my dreams. I pray that I would still be able to praise Him if He says no. I pray that I will be able to be content in Christ.
What I realised a couple of hours ago is that I just have to trust Him. He would not allow anything to harm me. I can’t expect to have a perfect life. He won’t let anything break me, it might chip me, but He will mend me, it might scratch me, but He will polish me. If I trust Him with my life, He will make it perfect according to His will for my life. However, if I fall in love with my ideal life, instead of falling in love with God and trusting Him, I will only be disappointed.
I’ve heard Psalm 37:4 so many times. But what about if the desires of my heart go against everything that God has planned for me? The truth is, God knew me before I was even in my mum’s womb. He knows me more than anyone that I know and even more than myself. So I need to trust Him. In order for me to be satisfied with Him regardless of my situation, I need to trust Him.